Single mum advantages

Being a single mom is hard...really hard. Holding the sole responsibility for another human life is stressful, let alone finances, housework, and doctor's appointments.

Over the next few weeks, I'll be catching up on blogging. I fell way, way behind. But, I think that it was worth it and necessary. Had I kept up with the blogging during the craziness, instead of allowing myself to settle in to my new life, I would have started to see blogging as a chore. That's no fun. But now I'm back and excited to catch up.

I wanted my first post back to be one that was uplifting for all the single mommies out there, so here is the short list of the advantages to being a single mom:
Morning smiles are just for you
No one can criticize your housekeeping skills
You discover just how efficient you can be
You find out who your true friends are...
And appreciate them more than ever
Evening smiles are just for you
You discover your mom may have been right about everything all along
You can make up cheesy songs to keep your kiddo happy, and no one can tell you the lyrics make no sense
Freshly bathed baby smell is just for you
You appreciate your family support more than ever
You are forced to repriortize...and are happier for it.

While we definitely have our fair share of challenging days, nothing can take away from these things.

Pregnancy Prep-The Playlist

In prepping for my labor and delivery, I have decided one very important thing:

I need some good tunes!

Silence makes me a bit crazy. I did love hearing baby girl on the monitor kicking and overall rocking it while I was in for observation, but the rest of the time I was going absolutely nuts.

While I was on my hospital tour/birthing class yesterday, I found out that I can have some tunes set through the speakers in my labor room-sweet! I have no idea how I missed that both times I've been in the labor rooms for observation, but oh well.

Also, I have Spotify Premium just for this purpose. It allows me to listen to all of my music without commercials and make multiple playlists.

I've broken my playlist into three main parts:

Early labor:
For early labor I'm going "chill". I need something to help me calm, and music is great for chilling me out.
Some of the selections include:
Iron and Wine Naked as We Came
Ed Sheeran Kiss me
The Head and the Heart Rivers and Roads

Active labor:
Still chill, but with a bit more beat...
Some of the selections include:
Jeremy Messersmith Ghost
Royal Teeth Wild
Vance Joy Play with Fire

Transition:
I'm choosing to see birthing as a triathlon, and transition/pushing are definitely the "run" for me.
With that in mind, some selections include:
NONONOs Pumping Blood
Matt and Kim Let's Go
Passion Pit Take a Walk
Crystal Fighters You and I

Each playlist is about an hour to an hour and a half long. I know it won't get me through the whole thing, but it is a start!

Obviously, this isn't a complete list, but it was a lovely way for me to spend my Sunday afternoon.
If you're interested in a complete list, let me know and I'll send it to you.

Hospital Prep for the Type-A Lady: Part 2

With my out-of-town baby shower this weekend, I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and pack my hospital bag! Using several guides via Pinterest (you know you love it!), I have packed a bag perfect for staying in my particular hospital. 

To break it down, I have mommy stuff:

• 2 pairs boxers
• 6 pack granny panties
• PJ pants
• 2 nursing bras
• 2 nursing camis
• 2 loose, soft, cozy shirts
• Jeans
• Cozy T-Shirt
• Nursing Pads
• Cozy  robe
• socks with no-slip grip
• Mommy Tech stuff
• Camera (fully charged battery, plus charging pack)
• Charger for tablet/ cell phone
• I will bring my tablet and cell, but both are consistently in my purse, so I didn't want them in the hospital bag. My playlist will be on my cell phone. 
• Home Sweet Home stuff 

• Blanket 
• body pillow
• aromatherapy reed diffuser in my favorite scent
• lollipops (for a little sugar rush)
• Bath stuff

• yummy smelling shampoo/conditioner/body wash, etc
• extra soft toothbrush, floss, and toothpaste
• nail polish (want pretty nails for pics)
• hair tie, as well as soft headband
• 
  
• Baby Info Folder (filled with your papers from Part 1)
• My doula will have
• honey sticks/other small snacks
• massage ball
• labor ball
• aromatherapy oils

Of course, there is baby stuff too!

• 2 outfits
• Boppy
• Hats (Rock Chalk!)
• socks
• stuffed giraffe
• this giraffe will also be my designated pain crusher (aka: I will squeeze the crap out of this little guy during contractions)

Also, her carseat will be installed as soon as I hit week 32 and am done with baby showers/having to lug around stuff. I also have a bag of gifts for nurses and other staff/labor support (will share in a later post). 

Obviously, this list is different for everyone, but hopefully this is at least mildly helpful for some. 

An (unintentional) Hospital Practice Run

Allow me to set the scene (ahem)...

I'm waiting in line at my local Target Pharmacy to pick up my medication refill. Thinking man, it sucks they've had to up my meds...oh well, we all knew it would happen...but WOW-my back is really hurting all of the sudden. Maybe it's time to switch lead at work to something that fits a bit better...

Refill in hand, I begin to browse through kitchen clearance (a favorite of mine) when my back spasms in a way that is NOT my normal back pain. 

Driving home, back is a bit better....I decide I'll get a pedicure and use the lovely massage chair...owner tells me it will be a 5 minute wait, and my response is "Perfect! I'll use the bathroom and be right back!"

Pee, go to wipe, and cue freak out: I'm bleeding. And not the "touch of brown" or whatever, BRIGHT RED BLOOD, from my vagina (I checked). shit, Shit, SHIT!

I flush, rush out of the bathroom, tell the lady (who now has a chair and water ready for me) that I can't stay, pointing to my belly and saying "baby problems". I hop in the car and head to my house, calling my OB's office on the way. 

**ring ring ring**we're sorry, all of our operators are busy currently assisting other callers, please wait and we will answer your call in the order it was received**ring ring ring** FOR SIX MINUTES! By the time someone answers, I'm a mess...they connect me with the nurse after I answer a few questions, and she tells me to go straight to the L&D unit. I grab my bag (which I'd packed the day before), pet the dog, and walk out the door. 

Once there, things went smoothly (mostly). I was checked in promptly, but the nurse was helping in an emergent c-section. Still feeling little girl kick, I was OK with waiting for a few minutes, though I was still a mess. By the time I got into the room, the bleeding had all but stopped. Still, 25 weeks is way too early to go into labor, and way too late to have vaginal bleeding, so I still got the whole shebang-especially considering my high risk factors. I got labs, another sono, and constant monitoring for three hours before it was determined that I could go home so long as I promised to come back if the bleeding returned. 

The bad news: It was a SUPER stressful ordeal.

The good news: I got a practice run of the hospital, and I learned a few things. Also, I know my cervix, placenta, labs, and baby are all looking good. I've had no bleeding since, and have spent the day chilling with the pup (which he is loving) and watching Dr. Who.

This weekend I'll be doing a post on packing the hospital bag, but here are a few random things I learned from yesterday's experience:
#1- You may want to think about buying a longer phone charger. I'm single and my mom lives 3 hours away, so I wanted to keep her up to date and let her know if and when she needed to get up here. Naturally when I arrived at the hospital, my cell phone battery was a whopping 9%. I plugged it in, but all of the outlets were behind the bed, making it so I couldn't charge and use simultaneously. They make long (6 to 10 ft) charger cords. I now have one purchased.

#2- Bring your own pillow. Yes, this seems pretty basic, but I know the hospital I'm delivering at advertises "premium linen". Malarkey...it's the same sheets and pillows I put on the exam table where I work.

#3- Prepare yourself and your info, and even then...prepare to be patient. I recommend you look at my post over prepping your papers, as this well help tremendously with check-in and initial triage. Even with all that done, I still felt like everything was taking an eternity, though it was kind of reassuring to hear little girl on the continuous monitor (which she kicked the crap out of).

I hope this helps! Happy Tuesday! 25 weeks today!!

Book Review:Natural Hospital Birth

I was super excited to read this book. My doula recommended it to me knowing that I am a high-risk mother who wants to birth in the hospital, but also wants a natural child birth if at all possible.

 Ms. Gabriel is a very experienced doula, as well as a medical anthropologist, so she obviously knows a thing or two about birthing babies! She pulls from her experiences both here in the US as well as her time in Russia when discussing ways to prepare yourself and your health team for a natural birth.

There are a few GREAT things about this book:
First, it discusses the importance of writing a birth plan tailored to you, far beyond the "check the box" templates you will find on many baby websites. She also discusses the importance of being respectful but firm with medical professionals, who in the US are mostly experienced in births with medical interventions.
Next, she introduces several tools to help you work with medical staff, and tricks to help avoid medical interventions.
Finally, she does a great job breaking down things you can do in each stage of labor in order to make the whole thing less scary and painful. Aka: early labor at home, drink a glass of wine, and sleep (yes, please!).
She does all of this while admitting and encouraging moms to remember that not everything can always go to plan, and sometimes medical interventions are, in fact, necessary (especially in high-risk situations).

Now, I did struggle with a few things in this book:
As a reminder: I am a medical professional. And that is where most of my issues with this book come from.
She paints most medical professionals in a bad light. Either they are too stubborn (doing things based on when it is convenient for them), or they are simply naive to the wonderful world of natural child birth.
Also, there are certain times when medical intervention is, in fact, necessary for good outcomes. These seem to be breezed over to the point where some are completely disregarded. I thought this gave a false sense of security to mothers who might not be a medically savvy as myself that when professionals recommend interventions, they are doing it for the reasons listed above. There are a couple of times when she is very praising of medical professionals, but it felt very "them vs. us" even though she repeatedly states the importance of birth being a TEAM process.

Overall, I thought it was a good book, but could definitely have been less biased. I was hoping for something more research based, and this was not that. If you are pretty confident you are interested in a natural birth, I highly recommend it, but if you are on the fence, I would wait until you've done some research on both sides before picking this bad boy up.

Happy Reading! 

Saving Bucks on Baby: Consignment Sales

Single Mum=Single Mum Finances

So...to save some cash, I've hit a few consignment sales (two today!).

While baby girl's nursery is mostly ready, there are still several small things I was hoping to get for a steal:

First off: baby socks! Why on earth are socks made of 5 inches of fabric a dollar per pair?

Secondly: I plan on cloth diapering, but I was wanting a diaper pail just for odor control.

Lastly: Nursing Camis: Why, WHY, WHY are these 30-40 dollars each?

So...I hit two sales today in two different cities around the metro, and came back with all of this:

I highly, highly recommend consignment sales (or shops) for baby stuff. I have now been to sales from two different companies, as well as two local shops.

Two large chain consignment sales are (use the links to find scheduled sales in your area)
Just Between Friends (jbfsale.com)
Kids Closet Connection (kidscloset.biz)

Today I got:
1 Diaper Champ-$8
1 Bundle Me car seat insulator-$12
1 Shopping Cart Cover-$9
1 Santa Dress (I couldn't resist!)-$3
1 Tub Toy Holder (the turtle)-$4
1 Car Seat Protector-$5
Assorted Child Locks-$2
2- Hooded Towels-$1
40 pairs of socks + 4 pairs of tights-$15
3-Nursing Camis-$15 ($5 each)
1- Maternity Jeans-$12
1-cloth diaper (never used)-$5
Total: $91
By my best guess (via internet research) that stuff would have cost: $330
So my total savings (approximately): 330-91=$239. Woot Woot!!

I also have a cloth diaper stash of 23 diapers for approximately $130 thanks to consignment sales and shops.

Glider Slipcover (with picture tutorial)

As part of my single mom=single income budget, I have decided to get as much for this baby (safely) secondhand as possible.

With that being said, I have AMAZING friends. One friend gave me her Pottery Barn Crib (for free!) because she doesn't want to move it. Another friend gave me this amazing find (she found it at a garage sale, and also refused to let me pay for it!)

Awesome, right?
Even better? All of the cushions are completely removable, and rectangular = EASY SLIPCOVERING!!
Now, I am not a seamstress. In fact, Home Economics was not my strongest class, despite my overall craftiness. So, I wanted to do minimal, easy sewing.
All of the tutorials I found on Pinterest required significantly more skills than I possess in the world of sewing, or they were actually recovering tutorials. I did not want to replace the fabric on the glider, just cover it.

So...

Here is a brief tutorial for you guys, and after an hour or two, you will get something like this:

I am going with a jungle/safari theme for baby girl's nursery. I still haven't decided what to do with the arm rests, I forsee some pockets to hold small things/mommy stuff.

First: select your fabric. I recommend something with a pattern (to hide stains), but not a super linear pattern (that's too much effort lining up things for this lady!). I also recommend getting fabric from the home decor section, as it will hold up longer.
I chose this fabric to go with my chosen nursery theme. I found it at JoAnn's fabric for 50% off, plus a 10% off with a student discount. I purchased a yard and a half of the fabric for just over 20 dollars (woot!).

Next, measure your fabric for cushion #1:
Now, some people would tell you to actually MEASURE said fabric. Despite being a self-proclaimed Type-A lady, I am not one of those people. I prefer the "lay the cushion on the fabric, wrap the fabric around, and cut" method.

After you've cut your fabric, you should hem your edges. I chose to only hem the edges that would stay exposed in the final product (at the zipper) as the sides would be sewn together.

Next, pin your edges so that your cushion will fit snugly. Once again, I did this by actually putting my cushion in the fabric (which should be inside out), pinning, and removing the cushion before sewing.
Another note: since I didn't want to sew my cushion inside the slipcover completely, I left the back side open, but had one side of the fabric a little longer, so I could tuck it in "envelope style". This eliminates the need for zippers/velcro, and allows the fabric a little room to move, so you don't burst your seams.

You will notice the edges are uneven here, that's because this 

cushion has an angle and is not equally thick throughout.

Pull out your cushion, sew your edges, trim your excess fabric (if desired), flip your slipcover right-side-out, and admire your handiwork:

Like I said before, I left one end significantly longer so the "tail" could be tucked in like an envelope. This will make insertion/removal of the cushion much easier, and also allows a little wiggle room in terms of the cushion changing shape under your weight. Tuck that "tail" in, place on your glider, and BAM! One cushion down!

Repeat the previous steps for the other cushions, and you're finished!

Great work!